Because we need another reason to hate Pyotr Petrovich

According to my course syllabus for Modern European Lit, we will be finished with Crime and Punishment on May 3. Until then, more character rants that relate to real life.

Pyotr Petrovich Luzhim is one of the most annoying characters I have ever had the pleasure of reading about. Frankly, he kind of ticks me off. He's a rich, pompous fool with horrible notions about marriage and love. Example: Marrying someone who is poor so that she will forever be in his debt.

I could handle his ideas. His selfish reason for wanting to marry Dunya. He was annoying but bearable.

Until this line:

"'Love for one's future life-companion, a future husband, ought to exceed the love for one's brother,' he pronounced sententiously," ~ Dostoevsky, Crime and Punishment

Sorry, Luzhim, but I disagree. Intensely.

In a perfect world, love for a "future life-companion" should not exceed the love for your brother or sister. It almost should be the other way around.

But if anything, the amounts of love should be equal. The two loves are different. Why can't you feel the same amount of love for both your mate and your sibling?

Maybe it's because I've never been in love. Maybe it's because I have an amazing relationship with my sister. Maybe it's because I'm seventeen.

But my sister comes before any boyfriend. Before any possible "future life-companion."

In several of my classes, I've read a bit of Stephanie Coontz's writing. She's the author of several books focusing around the ideas of marriage, families, and history. I'd like to read her book Marriage, A History: How Love Conquered Marriage. People have been falling in love for eons. Marrying for love is a more recent concept.

I love this:

"George Bernard Shaw described marriage as an institution that brings together two people 'under the influence of the most violent, most insane, most delusive, and most transient of passions. They are required to swear that they will remain in that excited, abnormal, and exhausting condition continuously until death do them part.' ... it pokes fun at the unrealistic expectations that spring from a dearly held cultural ideal -- that marriage should be based on intense, profound love and a couple should maintain their ardor until death do them part."

~ Stephanie Coontz

Don't get me wrong. I'm not a bitter, marriage hating, love basher. (Although I went through a phase.) I've been romantic for most of my life.

I'm just not a fan of the all-consuming relationships that exclude every other person but the two in the relationship. It's not healthy. It's not natural. It might even lead to the end of the relationship because eventually you'll be placing every single expectation on that one person. And you'll crush them.

Family. Friends. Love.

Balance. Balance. Balance.