Summer in the city

reflections on personality, social interactions, and living in the city

I am a shy but social introvert with hints of social anxiety.

I need my alone time but I also crave companionship--coffee dates, hanging out with friends, small get togethers of no more than four. I am drained by people but I often want to be with people. I want to talk to everyone; I am afraid of talking to almost everyone. I like hosting parties but I don't like going to parties.

I like being alone in the city; I don't like being alone in the city.

Finding a balance has always been difficult.

This summer has been the first spent away from my childhood home. And like practically everything, it has had its ups and downs.

Closer to work.
Living in Seattle.
Close to my church.
My own space.  
The Burke Gilman.
Roommates.
Time for creativity.

Distance from family.
Distance from most of my friends.
Less busy schedule --> more alone time than usual.
Loneliness.

There is a brilliant song by Regina Spektor titled "Summer in the City." Its lyrics have felt rather relevant this season.

Summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I've been staying up and drinking in late night establishments
Telling strangers personal things

Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
So I went to a protest just to rub up against strangers
And I did feel like coming but I also felt like crying
It doesn't seem so worth it right now

And the castrated ones stand in the corner smoking
They want to feel the bulges in their pants start to rise
At the site of a beautiful woman they feel nothing but
Anger, her skin makes them sick in the night nauseous, nauseous, nauseous

Summer in the city, I'm so lonely lonely lonely
I've been hallucinating you, babe, at the backs of other women
And I tap on their shoulder and they turn around smiling
But there's no recognition in their eyes

Oh summer in the city means cleavage cleavage cleavage
And don't get me wrong, dear, in general I think I'm doing quite fine
It's just when it's summer in the city, and you're long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes

When it's summer in the city
And you're so long gone from the city
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes
I start to miss you, baby, sometimes

And so don't get me wrong, dears, in general I think I'm doing quite fine. It's just when it's summer in the city, and you're long gone from the city, I start to miss you sometimes.