Adventures in womanhood!

 how I was tricked into my first Pap test

My vagina pillow-- a spring break project with roommates

  

In early June, I received a letter from my doctor: 

Congrats on turning 21! You're due for a Pap smear!

Okay. So it wasn't that celebratory. Let's try clinical:

It is highly recommended that you schedule an appointment for a Pap smear. All women should be tested when they become sexually active or at the age of 21. Please contact your doctor etc. etc. etc.

I do not remember the precise wording because I had a minor panic, proceeded to show my roommates the letter, and followed up with a prompt recycling of the envelope and its contents. 

Psh I don't need that right away. That's actual adult woman business and I am not that. Sounds mighty uncomfortable anyway. I can wait. I'll wait. 

And so the Pap test was forgotten. 

I turned 21 with no immediate consequences. Got a tattoo. Traveled to Mexico with my old youth group. Played at the beach. Read books. Worked at the library. Marathoned television shows. Went running. Eating too much chocolate. Crying over fictional characters. The usual. 

21 or 20. Not much of difference. Definitely not an adult woman who needs a Pap smear. 

Fast forward to July 11, 2013. I am lying on my bed, sleepily enjoying the sun through my window. Relaxing after work.

My phone rings. 

Surprisingly enough, I answer on the second ring (see I'm getting better with my oh-okay-it's-ringing-what-do-I-do-uh-I'll-just-let-it-ring-they-can-leave-a-voicemail problem!)

Hello is this Lois? I'm calling from Dr. Chen's office. We'd like to schedule an appointment for your preventative well-care visit. When are you available?

I'm free next week.

Will Monday work?

What time?

9 am.

Yes, I'm available then.

The phone call ends. 

Right. Doctor's appointment on Monday. Therapy on Tuesday. I'm all set.

Wait. What kind of appointment did I just make? Preventive well-care? What--

Then I remember the letter. The letter that I hoped was currently being recycled into paper for a coloring book or birthday card. The letter that said you, Lois, are 21 and are due for a preventative Pap test screening.

Oh those tricky doctors. Sure I'll make a well care visit. Haven't had a physical in a while. Seems perfectly reasonable and safe. 

Surprise! We're throwing in a Pap smear as an added bonus. Welcome to adult womanhood--a land of mysterious tests and speculums and breast examinations and increased fertility added on to the gifts of puberty: menstruation, PMS, expensive "feminine hygiene" products, and DD bras.

I had four days until adult womanhood smacked me in the face. Or actually. Well. 

Early this morning, my vitals were collected; I was weighed, measured, and poked. I then nervously changed into my patient gown and awaited my initiation.

It wasn't terrible. But it wasn't enjoyable either. Or life changing. 

Instead, it made me think about how lucky I am to have aggressive doctors who trick me into getting a Pap test. A health care system that actually cares about my reproductive system and provides preventative care so that I can stay healthy. Because of the messy state of women's reproductive rights and health care in this country, many women do not share this experience. 

While I cannot truthfully say that I am looking forward to my next exam in three years time, I can say that I am very thankful for the "preventative well-care" visits that I am lucky enough to receive.